I've memorized Scripture after Scripture of the beautiful words inspired by my Heavenly Father. Love others...got it. Die to self...no problem. Be still and wait on Adonai....what could be simpler, right? Abba has been so patient and faithful as I sipped the milk of His Word, and admired the beauty of His Story. He's given me time to absorb the essence of His love, and to understand that there was finally One in whom I could trust. Then, in His perfect timing, He allowed me to be shaken to the core. To question everything I thought I knew about Him. To question everything I thought I knew about myself. And yes, to even get angry at Him because my life suddenly looked nothing like the beautiful jewels in the treasure chest. I was, apparently, being called onto the carpet before the Throne to make a stand for my faith, or for my flesh. I understood that I couldn't stand on or for both. I understood that the time had come for me to choose whom I would serve, my selfish flesh, or my God, who loves me more than I can even fathom. In a torrent of tears of frustration, and without even being able to feel His presense, I chose to follow Him. In that moment, I felt a release, I knew I finally set my eyes where they belong!
Right after making my choice, Yah stirred my spirit to remember this Scripture:
~"My grace is enough for you, for my power is brought to perfection in weakness.” ~
There it was, right in front of my eyes! I am going to step out in faith, and fully understand what this Scripture means. If I look at my circumstances or at people for my sufficiency, there will always be a lack. Circumstances are ever changing, and people are flawed, just as I am. YHWH is calling me to higher ground...He will show me He is enough, when I believe He will. Now, for me, is the time!
The shaking in my life has left me with huge decisions to make and questions about the future, but instead of making them all today, I only need to make one: The decision to live in and recognize YHWH's sufficiency. I want to make these big decisions based soley on His guidance, and the only way to get that is to wrap myself in my All-Sufficient Father! He has distanced me from even those I love for a reason...to show me Himself. I can either sit here bemoaning my lonliness, or I can enjoy His company! I can follow every thought that flitters into my mind, or I can aspire to learn His thoughts! I can plot and plan and wonder what will be next in my life, or I can praise and worship, knowing He will use my shaking for His glory, and He has a plan for me! The choice is mine to make, and it is yours as well, if you are currently being shaken yourself, or have been very recently.
Embracing the sufficiency of YHWH requires effort on my part, my flesh resists it. It's important to exercise discipline during this time! I have come up with a plan to make sure I am good soil for the seed of Yah's Words to blossom in. Perhaps it will help you if you are learning to embrace the sufficiency of Yah. We can't claim to believe He is enough, but wail when He is all we have! Here is how I intend to cling to Him and persue His heart and mind, even when (especially when) I can't "feel" Him near:
(1) Thank Him outloud for being Enough, several times a day. Thank Him for all He has delivered me from, blessed me with, or kept away, for my own good. Thank Him for being good, all the time.
(2) Get in The Word...it is the primary source of His communication! A Proverb a day, a Psalm, or a hard-hitting book like James can often speak to any situation I find myself in.
(3) When feeling tired or weak, cry out to The Father! He'll deliver on-the-spot grace and mercy!
(4) Fasting and prayer, seeking His wisdom, following as He leads. When I come out on the other side, and there WILL be the other side, I may not have this precious time alone to fully devote myself to Him, I'll take advantage of the quiet!
(5) Get healthy and strong physically. A time of aloneness is a great time to work on strengthening the vessel that carries my spirit around. Eating clean, exercising and getting plenty of sunshine are important for energy and a clear mind. Lethargy breeds lethargy, and I have no time for idleness in my life, time is drawing short! The shaking that is still to come for the Body of the Messiah is going to be HUGE! I want to be able to stand, spiritually and physically.
(6) Give thanks for each manifestation of His Sufficiency I see. When I keep my eyes on all He is, instead of all I am not, it's easy to see His sufficiency all around me. The more grateful I am for it, the more it seems to increase.
(7) Pray for wisdom, strength, and understanding...YHWH is faithful to give it freely!
(8) Worship, worship, worship! To each of us, the method might be different. However you best express it, worship The Father!
(9) Live completely in "this day".
(10) When doubts about the future begin to form, repeat steps 1-9. When the enemy tries to prod pride into action, repeat steps 1-9. When I become my own worst enemy, I repeat steps 1-9!
The most amazing thing I am seeing so far, here on the inside, alone with YHWH, is this: The hungrier I am for His Word and for His heart, the more I am fed! Really and truly, He is enough! I don't know the details yet, but this shaking in my life is going to be part of my completed story one day. So is yours. Setting all emotion to the side and clinging to YHWH is the answer, in any given situation! Seek Him for His sufficiency, and all the other things will fall into place. And give thanks when He's all we have, for He is Enough!